How to Get Married in Saudi Arabia: 10 Simple Steps

This is the part where the young (usually in his 20’s) Saudi Arabian male decides that he wants to get married and start a family.  OR, in the case of many Saudi Arabian men, it is when his mom decides that matrimony would be good for her son and begins pursuing a marriage partner for him on her own.

You may be wondering how a guy in Saudi Arabia could find a wife, since the Saudi men and women are not allowed to speak to each other (unless they are family). Well, it is quite simple actually. When a man is looking for a wife he just asks his mom, sisters, and friends if they know of a good girl for him to marry. Then, everybody will make their suggestions…

Once a strong candidate has come forth, the guy will obviously want to know more about her.  He may ask about the girl’s personality, behavior, character, family background, and what she is studying. He will most likley also want to look at a picture of her. If he likes what he hears (and sees!) and wants to pursue marriage with her, then…

The next step is for the boy’s mother to speak with the girl’s mother about the potential marriage that would join the two families.  The girl’s mother will not immediately give an answer, because first…

This will usually take a bit of time.  The girl’s family will ask people who are acquainted with the boy about his character, behavior, and religious practices. Some families may also want their daughter to marry a guy with a certain level of education or amount of money.  It varies from family to family.

If the mothers agree to the marriage, it is then time for the fathers of both families to speak with each other.  The boy and his father will usually go together to the girl’s house. There, the boy will meet his (future?) wife for the first time.  While they are sitting down, she will bring him something to drink and they will speak to each other for an awkward five minutes.

In addition to the boy and girl meeting each other for the first time, the fathers will also talk about the terms and conditions of the marriage.  Firstly, the boy’s family will need to pay a dowry for the girl.   Secondly, they will have to discuss other conditions such as what level of education the girl will want to obtain in the future, or whether or not she will want to work outside of the home.  Each family will have their own particular requirements.

Not long after the families agree to marriage is it time for the couple to get engaged.  One important point of the engagement ceremony is that the religious leader must ask the girl if she agrees to the marriage.  This question is asked to verify that the girl genuinely wants to be married, and is not just being forced into it.

The day after the engagement occurs, the groom will typically bring a gift for his wife.  He may bring gold, jewelry, or even something like a cell phone.

The engagement period can last from weeks to over a year depending on the couple and their family.  During this period, the engaged couple may see each other frequently or not at all.

I had some Saudi men tell me that they went to visit their fiancee on many occasions before the wedding, bringing presents each time that they went, while others said that they didn’t see their fiancee once before marriage.

Regardless, for the ones that do “date” during this period, it can be one of the most memorable times in a couple’s life together.

They finally made it.  It is time to get married!